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REALITY SHOW SCRIBES UNITE!
July 1, 2005
This'll make you chuckle.
About two weeks back, the Writers Guild of America, the union that represents the folks who script television shows, announced that they are planning to push for reality TV writers to join the union, this at the behest of nearly 1,000 requests from people who shape the storylines on shows like "The Swan" and "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition."
It seems reality TV "writers" feel they're underpaid, since (as the Los Angeles Times recently reported), these staffers earn a salary that's roughly one-third of the guild minimum.
Now I know what some of you are saying: "But, Bob, they're freakin' REALITY shows. Why do they have writers on the staff at all?"
At which point others of you butt in and reply, "Quit asking Bob such ridiculous questions. Have you seen half these reality shows? Those things are faker than Tom and Katie's engagement! Of course they have writers."
Those rude people that just interrupted me are correct. It's not a huge secret that many reality shows have writer/editor employees who nudge storylines one way or another and script out scenarios in advance to push characters in network-desired directions.
Writer Rebecca Hertz, who's worked on Fox's "The Swan" and the WB's "Big Man on Campus," told the Associated Press, "[The producers] want to keep the fiction that it's not written so they don't have to pay us what they pay fiction writers."
Hmm, bold statement from Ms. Hertz. But is it bolder than admitting that you helped craft the oh-so-brilliant plotlines featured in "The Swan" and "Big Man on Campus"? I think not.
Honestly, I'm not sure what to make of this whole thing. My first question is…why now? Doesn't the Guild realize that there's fewer reality shows on the fall schedule than there have been in years as great scripted drama has once again attracted our attention? Two years back, when reality shows ruled primetime, would have made more sense.
And one-third of the Guild minimum for writers still comes to about $1,100 per week. Some quick math will show you that still amounts to about $57,000 per year. Does anyone who, say, manufactures storylines for "The Apprentice" really deserve more than $57,000 per year? I'd propose that anyone who can still sit through a whole episode of "The Apprentice" is the person who needs paid.
I figure the best-case scenario is that reality TV writers will decide to strike, bringing production of all said shows to a halt (Except for "Survivor." I continue to be legitimately entertained by that show, so I'm giving it a pass whether it's partially scripted or not.) Then TV execs can choose to fill up the holes in their schedules with riveting fiction, or they can start making reality TV that is honest-to-God real. No scripted moments. No preconceived storylines. No anything of interest at all.
They'd have to choose the first option, right? RIGHT?! Now I hear you all answering, "No, Bob, don't be silly. Option number two would be pretty cheap, you know, and the networks may be ready to have a go at a series with no writers of any kind, shape, or form."
The horror, the horror…
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